Friday, February 18, 2011

I broke one of my own rules....When angry, never and I mean never bring up the past...even if it is truth, some one will argue it isn't. It's not a good weapon.It will cut your throat in the end. Bite your tongue if you start to..even if it's not to hurt some one but rather out of frustration at trying to talk to some one who is irrational, ripping you apart and won't listen. The truth don't always set you free.

Thursday, February 17, 2011


Today I don't care if I eat a half pound of cheese cake and hate myself afterwards
Today I don't care if my eyes are puffy from crying all night, or if my masscara is running down my cheeks
Today I don't care if I have hairy legs and armpits,because I didn't feel like shaving
Today I don't care if I don't talk to any one
Today I don't care if people see me vulnerable,scared,and hurting
Today I don't care if the sun shinned or not because inside it wasn't anyway
Today I don't care if every thing got done or not
Today I don't care about the physical pain because the emotional pain hurts way worse
Today I don't care if I drink too much pop or eat too much candy
Today I don't care if my head hurts so bad I feel like it's going to explode
Today I don't care if my mind won't stop thinking and wondering why I don't care
Today I just don't care. Today I am numb. Today I need to be numb.
Today I don't care because I can't care. If I do I will fall apart and loose myself.

Monday, February 7, 2011

Chew On This

I've come to the conclusion that all OBGYN doctors should be female, And should have gave birth at least once. Male OBGYN's can't possibly ever understand the pain, emotions,and stress that a womens body endures having a baby. They have no idea what it feels like to have someone reach inside you and push something out of you through an openning way smaller than a baby's head. They have no idea what it feels like to have your hands and feet swollen and numb, let alone what your stomach feels like being stretched so far it rips! That is just what stretch marks are you know. Any way, the reason I'm un-nerved at the moment is because my poor daughter is almost due with her 3rd baby girl. She has been battling high blood pressure, swollen feet and hands and on top of that has sinus and ear infection,and pink eye, along with everything else. She is on bed rest and one doctor wants to induce her and the one on call today sent her back home with bed rest ...still. So there she lays, waiting and worrying and wondering if there is an end in sight. She has pre-preclamsia. Why the heck are they waiting to deliver this baby??? I feel so sorry for her :(
And that my friends is why there should be NO male OBGYN's!!! A women would have delivered by now!

Sunday, February 6, 2011

Family - Babies & Memories

I am getting so excited because in a couple of days I'm pretty sure I will have a new grandaughter! It's like waiting for Christmas to come, only you get the gift that really does last forever. This will make my 3rd grandaughter and I have 1, grandson. I love being a grandma. I wish my kids to have many kids of their own. I want a big family like mine. Lots of kids running around, enough that you won't ever run out..or be lonely. I love my Grandparents, even though they aren't here on this earth any more. I miss them like crazy, but did make a lot of wonderful fond memories when they were alive, since I was a young girl. It's inportant to make memories with you family. When they or we leave this world there should be many, many memories left behind for your family to remember and treasure. I want to be that kind of mother and grandmother. I want my children and grandchildren especially to have lots and lots of fond memories of their times with me. I want all the fond memories to cover up any bad memories they may have. I hope when I am thought of, it puts a smile on their faces. :)

Saturday, February 5, 2011


I'm pondering....Should you do hurtful things to some one when you know in the end you are really helping them?? What if they never forgive you...