Saturday, December 4, 2010

Christmas ??

I dont know, when I was young I remember Christmas as the best time of the year. When ever I felt down in life I'd think of something happy and it was alway Christmas thoughts for me. As I grew older, and still today, I remember how Christmas was as a kid. Sitting around the tree with my siblings starring at the lights and ornaments and of coarse the presents. Id sit there wondering what was inside the package and looking through the paper and shake and feel around until I would finally figure out what it was and then I would be so let down because half of the excitment was just trying to figure it out. My brother and I never went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We stayed awake until mom and dad went to bed and then sneak up and look at what Santa had brought us. We would sit there all night excited out of our wits waiting for 6 am. ( That was OUR elected time to wake the parent's) They of coarse said 8 am. We would go and wake the other brothers and sisters and then we would all sit there whispering. Finally at 6am we would pour coffee and send the little sister in with coffee to wake mom and dad. I guess they couldn't refuse those big blue eyes. Then finally dad would come out and scratch his head and say "looks like Santa has been here, " then pass out the presents.
I always loved to go down town to shop. The Christmas music would play over the speakers so all the shoppers could here. I also loved the sing-a-longs we use to have in grade school. You know, the ones we are not allowed to have because a "Christmas" song may offend someone. Those were the days when we said The Pledge Of The Legion every morning and were allowed to have "Christmas" parties. NOT holiday parties. For heavens sake, how can you take away Christmas?? It is not possible. That is the day Christ Jesus, our savior was born and we want to celebrate Jesus Birthday just as we do our own!! What happened to the true meaning of Christmas? I taught my children that Christ is the reason for the Season, and that we want to celebrate our Savior. It's perfectly fine to have presents, I mean the wise men brought gifts, but somewhere along then line some people stopped celebrating Jesus and started celebrating themselves. Christmas is a time for giving and loving every minute of it, but DO NOT forget the true meaning! Teach it to your children. If you don't, sooner or later our future generations won't celebrate Christmas at all, and won't that be sad. LETS PUT CHRIST FIRST AND ABOVE ALL ELSE!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

Trying To Look At The Bright Side Of A Painful Week

This week I have struggled with pain way too much. Bad flair with the ugly invisable illness that has taken over my being. You know,FIBRO. Oh how I wish I could stay home when I have a bad flair up or a migraine. If I were rich that would be possible. People dont understand that you really do feel THAT bad, but have to function anyway. You feel 10 times worse at the end of the day and really pay for it but it's just something you have to do. My shoulders feel like someone is stabbing them in the joint with a big stick, making every tiny movement take your breath away. My hips are playing give out when I walk causing me to almost fall down with every step. I wish I could be running in the race for a cure today with my daughter.
ok, my Cousin Mark who is in Heaven now would be focusing on the beautiful Fall senery and crisp cool air of Autum. That is what I will try to do today, for me and for him. RIP Mark John.

Sunday, October 17, 2010

GREAT FIBRO FOG ARTICLE My massage therapist sent me this article about firbro fog. You are not imagining these symptoms and they really are from fibro and not just old age like everyone seems to think or tell you when you try to explain these things to others. Hope this gives better understanding to those who read this.

Saturday, September 25, 2010

Why Do Daughters Have To Grow Up....

Tonight my daughter went to the Homecoming Dance with her "boy friend".It is her first official dance. All dressed up in beautiful dress, black high heels, hair done, and make up on . She looked perfect , beautiful in fact. My last child is growing up. I remember my two older daughters going to prom. What fun they had. I enjoyed helping them get ready and taking pictures. Then there they go off to the dance. Just like now, it leaves me sitting here wondering , where did the time go? Did I do every thing correct? Was I a good mother? Did I install good morals and values in them raising them? Yes, I believe I did. My two oldest girls are beautiful women and wonderful mothers and my youngest has grown in to a lovely young lady. Yes, I did good, real good.

Sunday, September 5, 2010

Labor day weekend

This has been a beautiful weekend. The sun has been shinning, and temps in the 70's. Ahh, my kind of weather. It is really starting to feel like fall. The older I get, the more I love fall. I love the fresh air, the turning of the leaves, the smell of the leaves (even though they aren't good for our allergies). The way they crunch when you walk on them. Fresh air flowing through the windows. Hawkeye football. Go Hawkeye's! Great win yesterday! I try not to think of winter coming right behind fall. Winter and I aren't very good friends. I don't like the cold and snow and did I say cold?? But, there is always a bright side to every thing. The snow is beautiful when it is coming down. I love watching it. So serene. I also love a white Christmas! There is always a flip side to everything. Today I will try to remember that and focus on the positive side of things instead of the negative.

Thursday, September 2, 2010

RAIN make more pain..

Why or why does it have to rain........It makes my body hurt so bad! I feel like I've been stuck in a freezer for a couple of days. My joints are as stiff as a starched shirt and moving is just plain painful. Some days I'm so sick of being sick I could scream! I walk around in this aching body every single day and only I know how bad I hurt. I may not show it on my face, but I am not ok.
I complain on here because I'm sure no one else wants to hear my complaints all the time. Truth be known, most people who know me don't really know me. I seem to meet more and more people who have the same complaints as me. They describe their symptoms and they are just like mine. Now THEY know how I feel. It's so much more than just the physical pain...It goes way deeper. It affects your body, mind, spirit. Over active nerve endings pick up every thing 1000 times more than normal. Noise sometimes makes my head feel like it will actually explode! No relief. It makes my head ache. Loud noises and sounds are magnified so much you get nervous because you don't know how much more of it you can take. Sometimes I have to leave a place because I can't take the noise any more. Lights seem so bright you sometimes feel like someone is shinning a flashlight in your eyes. My body feels as if someone wrapped me in plastic wrap and it keeps getting tighter and tighter till I can hardly move any more. I'm really mad at FIBRO right now. It makes me not be able to be me.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Ok, I'm lovin the Italian phrase's from Elizabeth Gilbert's book

Il bel far niente - This means "the beauty of doing nothing" Or
il dolce stil nuovo - which means the "sweet new style"
I love saying Italian words because they sound so fancy and
seem to just slip off your tongue~~~~Try saying - complimenti!
See isn't that just fun?? Even if you don't know what your saying
it is still fun to say!

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

ART SCULPTURES-Down Town Des Moines IA

My Daughter took me sight seeing. (even though I've lived here for about 9 years) We had a
great day together:)

From the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert

"It's not fair for you to come here, "I tell Depression. "I paid you off already. I served my time back in New York." But he just gives me that dark smile, settles into my favorite chair, puts his feet on my table and lights a cigar, filling the place with his awful smoke. Loneliness watches and sighs, then climbs into my bed and pulls the covers over himself, fully dressed, shoes and all. He's going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know he is.." Somehow I relate to this quote.

Monday, August 30, 2010

I think I'm starting to get comfortable with my "young" age.....maybe

AGE, it's a funny thing. Does it really matter how old you are?? If not then why do we think it does? Seems when you get to be a certain age, lets say 40 ish, a person, especially women I believe, start to become uncomfortable with their age. I know I did. I didn't want to turn 40. I was like omgosh, I'm 40!!! Then I started to look in the mirror more to see how many more wrinkles I had each day. I started wondering where all the years went. Now I'm the big 50, soon to be the bigger 51 !
eek! Boy, when I turned 50 I did not want that birthday. I secretly wished I could start declining in years, but soon found out that no matter how many times you tell yourself your a year younger, you aren't. I felt like it was now all down hill. Where did my life go? Why are my kids all grown up? What happened to the time? I wasn't done holding them on my lap and rocking them to sleep. One day I looked and they were teenagers and then 2 were grown up with kids of their own. It is weird to think I have a daughter older than the age I was when I had been married for 12 years and divorced with 2 kids and almost married again. I look back and wonder was I a good mother? Was I too strict? One thing your children learn when they get older and have kids is that we parents make mistakes too.
It's sort of nice when the circle is complete. But you have to wait so long after saying "some day when your a mom you'll understand". But eventually they do. :)
Next month I will be 51. So what? I'm beginning to reallize that your age is just that, your age. I have alot of wisdom from all the years I've lived and it's sort of nice to say to yourself, hey, let the younger ones do that. I have a right to relax. I can take a nap when I want to. Sometimes I still think I have to act like I was 20 and do EVERYTHING. Especially now since I have fibro I have to give myself permission to say no when I don't want to do something. Don't get me wrong..I totally do way too much! It's still hard to say no sometimes. I guess I tend to mourn the person I use to be, the younger me. Lately though, I'm feeling more comfortable being the age I am. I have 3 beautiful daughters and 3 beautiful grandkids and another on the way. I want to look at my age as a new chapter in life waiting to unfold. Sure there are times when I wish I could feel as good as I did when I was 20 or even 30, but time and health issues get in the way. I have to accept who I am and what age I am. After all I am far from being old! That's the other thing, every decade that passes, the next one to come always seems it will be the one that is "OLD", not the one your in at the time. Each year that goes by I'm another year older, wiser, and have to highlight my hair more often. That's life! Now today this is how I feel. Tomorrow I may feel completely different.

Fibro & Massage Therapy

I am posting this link because Massage therapy is one of the most helpful things I get to help my pain and tightness, in my body and to improve my range of motion. No it doesn't make me pain free, but it does loosen me up. If you suffer from fibro you know the awful tightness and pain all over your body every day and every time you move . A deep tissue massage, along with myofascial release along with other tecniques help me to move better and not feel stiff as a board all the time. Stretching helps in the same way. Hope this article is helpful to you.http://

Saturday, August 28, 2010


Last weekend I went home to attend an unofficial class reunion. We had a picnic potluck at the park. This was open for any one who who attended the highschool I graduated from. We had a mixture of my age and slightly younger and also older alumni who graduated in the 60's and even 50's...One before I was even born. I thought this was really neat. If was fun to meet all these people I hadnever met before but had a common bond with....Our Highscool. They all felt like old friends. A gathering such as this will be held every year now. I thank my friend Bob for planning this one when he lives so far away. Great job Bob! You know I love FaceBook. I have connected with so many classmates since I joined. Most of which I really didn't hang with during school but now feel like I've known them forever..The are my best friends now. I truely believe that I have talked with most of them now on facebook more than I ever did in school! Weird huh? It's sort of funny that when Iget an invite from someone I usually have to look them up in my year book...yes, that makes me old i guess. We have all changed and yet we havent. We look he same but older. We are more friendlier. Have alot in common such as kids and grandkids, diorce for some of us and illnesses . I'm glad I found you all or that you found me. I will not grow old alone S:)

Floods of 2010

Friday, August 27, 2010

More Fibro Information

My husband sent me this site to look at and it has alot of interesting info on Fibro and how some doctors dont see it as a disease or anything else but thinks it's just in the person's head....Well that doctor better hope he or someone he loves never gets it! Why is it that when men complain about a problem or pain or what ever they have something wrong with them, but when a women complains they are told it is just all in their head?? Seriously, this is not fair! I am out raged at this and others should be too. Think of all the women out there and probably men too that are crying out from pain or desperately needing some answers to what it wrong with them and their doctors don't help them. I remember when I was diagnosed, I was just relieved at that point to finally have a name to what was happening to my body. Women, take charge of your health! If your doctor dismisses your complaints of pain and other fibro symtoms, it's time to FIRE THAT DOCTOR AND GET A NEW ONE!
There is a National Fibromyalsia Day for recognition of this illness. I can't remember what the date is so if anyone out there can tell me please do. Thanks!click here>

Sunday, August 1, 2010


HEY WHEN SOMEONE NEEDS HELP, HELP THEM OK! If you see someone needing the door held open for them get up and hold it. When you see someone fall down, pick them up. When you see someone who is hungry, feed them. When you see someone hurting, comfort them. Don't sit there and do nothing. You should treat others how you want to be treated, especially someone older or disabled. You will be in their shoes one way or another some day and will want or need help, and won't you be hoping someone gets up and helps you? ANOTHER THING, DON'T BE LAZY! If you get something out, put it away. If you make a mess, clean it up. If you use another person's things, ask first and put it back when you are done with it. Treat others how you want to be treated. IT IS CALLED RESPECT! FIND IT, KNOW IT, BREATH IT, USE IT!

Thursday, July 29, 2010


Saturday, July 24, 2010

A Bend In The Road

When we feel we have nothing left to give
And we are sure that the “Song has ended”;
When our day seems over and the shadows fall
And the darkness of night has descended.
Where can we go to find the strength
To valiantly keep on trying,
Where can we find the hand that will dry
The tears that the heart is crying?
There’s but one place to go and that is to God
And, dropping all pretense and pride,
We can pour out our problems without restraint
And gain strength with him at our side;
And together we stand at life’s crossroads
And view what we think is the end,
But God has a much bigger vision
And he tells us it’s only a bend;
For the road goes on and is smoother,
And the “pause in the song” is a “rest”,
And the part that’s unsung and unfinished
Is the sweetest and richest and best;
So rest and relax and grow stronger,
Let go and let God share your load,
Your work is not finished or ended,
You’ve come to “A bend in the Road”.
Helen Steiner Rice

Wednesday, July 14, 2010


comes a time in life when you walk away from all the pointless drama and people who create it, and surround yourself with people who make you laugh so hard that you forget the bad and focus on the good. Life is too short to be anything but happy. AMEN!! ( Thanks to my friend Terri for reminding me)

Saturday, July 10, 2010

I need to get out of my FUNK

It's a beautiful day out today and here I sit at my computer feeling tired, bored, uninterested, unmotivated, blah, blah, blah. I'm feeling Depressed lately. I don't think any thing triggered it. I think it's because my body feels so bad. It triggers the depression and it becomes a vicious cycle. I wish my mom were here. She is the only one who really understands how I feel. That is because her and I are so much alike and have pretty much the same health issues. She lives about 2 hours away so can't just click my fingers and have her here. Guess I should call her. I wish I had some close friends in this city. Since we moved here years ago I never really got close enough to someone to talk about just everything. You know what I mean. There are several houses on my street for sale and all the time I say, Oh I hope there is someone I can become close friends with. Every one is too busy to do any thing, including me. I do have friends, and very good ones too, but it's not like we get together all that much. I miss my best friend from back home. I could tell her any thing. But right now I'm in this don't want to even leave the house mode. I need to get out of my funk man, shake it off. My daughters are grown and have their own life and children. My teenager can't stay home long enough to have a conversation with. Plus Softball has taken up most her summer. I hate it when kids turn 14. There is just somthing that happens that makes you feel like your losing them. It's sad really, but a natural mile stone. The person who once thought you were better than chocolate chip cookies, now has her own friends and activities. It's right, but just sad. I miss our time together as I did with the first two also. Makeup, cell phones, boys, and friends have taken my place. She's my last one:( . Ya know, I'm going to be an awlful empty nester! ha! Any one else feel this way????

Thursday, July 8, 2010


F- Fibro Fog,forgetfulness, frustrating
I- Irritable Bowel Syndrome among other-
B -Barely able to move in the morning
R- Rest is very important, REM sleep impaired
O- Often can't do things I'd like to
M- Magnified pain & sensitivity to stimuli(noise,light etc).
Y- yes I look normal but I do have an illness
A- All over chronic body pain
L- Limited mobility
S- Some times I cry because I feel awful
I- I never feel normal ,I want my life back!
A- Anxiety, Depression


Wednesday, July 7, 2010


We brought Tabby home from the shelter when she was around 9 months old. She is a house cat and we love her. Tabby is the only cat I know that won't play with cat toys. We have bought her several and she just ignores them. All she likes to do is lay around and sleep or stare out the window. She is fat and very lazy. She has a nice bed but is never in it. This photo is one of the very rare occasions in which she was actually laying in her bed. She likes to get up in the lounge chair when we are gone and sneak a nap when she can. She takes turns sleeping in different places. She'll sleep with my daughter for several weeks and then she'll decide she wants to sleep with me and my husband. Eventually she ends up in front of the window staring outside into the night. She is just one big hairy lazy lovable cat. She is MY cat and I love her.

Monday, July 5, 2010

A Crappy Day

Today has been a crappy day. Actually this weekend hasn't been to good. Rain, Rain go away. Rainy days make me sad. I've felt like this all my life. Just like when the sun sets I feel sad. It's beautiful, but lonely. I know it's weird. My fibro has been pretty bad lately. The rain makes it worse. When I hurt all over it is hard to get motivated to do any thing. Getting out of bed is my first big task of the day. I move at a snails pace while my body tries to adjust to the standing position.
Every thing and I mean Every thing hurts. All I want to do is snuggle up with my blanky on the couch and sleep. Today did have a happy spot in it. My daughter plays softball and I was able to see her game because I was also off work. It is the little things like that, that keep me going. Time for bed. God Bless.

Sunday, July 4, 2010

The dailey thorn in my side, and everywhere else.

One of the things I deal with daily is my Fibromyalsia. You may not know what that is but I live with chronic pain every day. Most of the time I feel like a mack truck ran over me, seriously. It not only affects your body but also your nervous system and alot of other things.The list is too long to write. It actually affects your entire being.
They say Fibro is not life threatening, however it is life altering. We that suffer from it may look normal but we are in pain. Pain just becomes our new normal. To learn more about Fibromyalsia click here.

Friday, July 2, 2010

So, what about shoes??

Aren't shoes fun?? I love shoes! They come in so many styles and colors. High heeled, flats, wedged, open toed, closed toed, pointy toed, square toed. Then there are tennies, clogs, crocks, swing backs, flip flops, sandals, boots, also sparkly, shinny, with a pattern, and solid colors too. How many pairs of shoes does one need? It gets confusing buying them but it's oh so delightful when you finally decide which ones to take home. Knowing secretly you wanted a pair in every color. Why do we buy shoes that hurt our feet? Is style more important than comfort? Well of coarse it is! We all know that. Ahhh, shoes...