It's always fun to be someone else. Even if just for a while :)

Vertigo Day 2

Don't feel much better today. I can get up short periods and then back to the couch. Wondering when this will end. Worried because I'm missing work. Too dizzy to do any thing much just have to wait it out I guess. Slept most of today as yesterday. Head feels a bit better. Yesterday it hurt so bad. I forgot to call my ENT again till it was too late. Have to call tomorrow and get in and see if there is any thing else they can do. My daughter has been a huge help. Walking me to the bathroom and giving me my medicine. She'll make a good little nurse some day :)
Oh well, I'm sure I gave the neighbors something to talk about. Lol. Prayers please if you read this. When some one told me they had vertigo if thought they just were a bit dizzy like I would get once in a while but this is way worse. The spinning feeling is out of control! It is a scary horrible feeling. Hope tomorrow I feel better.

Vertigo Day 1,

Woke up yesterday morning and got out of bed only to fall back in to it. Tried again and again but each time the room was spinning so fast I couldn't take the ride.
I was terrified. I knew something was really wrong. My husband was there so he was able to comfort me and help me. All I could think of was, could I be having a stroke? Or may be heart attack? My arms and legs felt like they werent even there. The only relief I had was to stay lying down. I told my husband to call an ambulance because I knew some thing was terribly wrong with me. They came in no time. A blur of men in uniforms working on both sides of me and asking me questions.
There was no way past getting up in order to get out side to the abulance. I stood with the support of these men and pretty much fell in to the wheel chair. They wheeled me out side to get on the gerny, wet because of the pouring down rain. I too got soaked on my ride to the ambulance. Once in I was freezing. They hooked me up and asked me the same questions over and over. My vital signs were taken over and over. They gave me an IV. With a few pokes they finally got the line in. lol, Im use to that. Finally we arrived at the hospital and all the vitals and questions were asked again. They did another EKGl, and urine test blood test, ct scan. Every thing came out normal. I told them of my ear troubles and my sisters too and they gave me a diagnoses of Vertigo. Dizziness, spinning, due to inner ear trouble. I was there at the hospital around 3 hours I think. They pumped me full of fluids, phenagrin (sp?) and valium, then sent me home. I don't really remember the ride home , just trying to get out of the car in the pouring down rain. Slept most of that day.

mourning change in life..How do you get passed it?

Coming to terms with the fact that things change is so hard to do at times. I'm not real good with change. People change, relationships change, and sometimes you grieve over the past relationships and people and the way they use to be. I've decided that I grieve hard, very hard, and long too. I view change as pain. Always thinking the worst. I have to be reminded from time to time that change doesn't have to be bad, but can actually be good. First one needs to get to the acceptance part, be willing to let go some times and move on. Where is the magic pill that gets you to that part?? Why do I always accept, then take it back?

If this blog disapears for some reason you will know that I messed up royally. Up till 2 am trying to do something...got frustrated and deleted everything ...or so I thought..really hoping my blog isnt deleted ...so keep your fingers crossed.

New Med for Fibro and Hasimoto's

I just heard this from a good friend. Will this be the miracle drug we've been waiting for? Low doses of a drug called Naltrexone...Stanford is doinga stage 2 trail..supposedly NO side effects, non toxic for treatment of Fibro and Hasimoto's..possibly more. I don't have a web site as of yet but bet you can google it or something. My friend is going to ask her doctor about a low dose to see how it works..I'll try and keep you undated.

Is my daughter playing softball or is it really my husband playing

I'm wondering, What do you do when you feel your daughter is being a little more persuaded to do something then she would really herself want to do? Don't get me wrong, she lives and breaths softball. She plays on a wreak? league, a competative league, and school league. The has either practice or a game every night, plus conditioning work outs every day, and doubleheaders every Sat and Sun. I can see she is getting run down. She has not been feeling well, has a cold, very tired, and alot of aches and pains. I worry about her. She tells me how she feels and then tells her dad she is fine. I talk to him but feel like he just dont get it. He just says , "oh she's fine". Grrr, I, having fibro and cronic pain worry about her getting it or just all the ware and tare on her body..Again, dont get me wrong, she loves it but at times I wonder if she is doing so much because her dad wants her to. After all he already has her playing college when she is not even out of HighSchool.. I love watching her play..I'm glad she is doing something active, but I also dont see the harm in missing a practice or game if you are not feeling well. I myself think she is run down, and exhausted. What do you think?

Lord, save me from the big binge Im really wanting to have

I asked my husband to help me stay on my weight watchers diet and stop buying all the junk foods, especially the ones I love. This is what he brings home from the supermarket yesterday....hostess cupcakes, fudge cakes, fudge rounds, cookies, chips, chips and salsa, and more! Why do I feel like im being set up for failure?
I'm only human. I just asked for a little less temptation and what do I get? A crap load OF temptation! Ok, I know it wouldn't be right to ask him to buy NO sweets and goodies, but at least not so many, hide them, or buy something I don't really care for. AND HE is the one who is diabetic!! Not only is he setting me up for failure, he is also setting me up to be an early widow!..I'm very surprised I've done really good on my WW diet this week. Since Tuesday I have stuck with it.It is easier to say no at work then at home where it is right there in front of me.
I did buy organic milk and Greek Yogurt..both are actually good. They are supose to fight away the bad fat because they have good fat..Although I got skim milk and fat free yogurt..humm dont make sence does it?..Any one know if I should be eating the ones with fat in them?? or does it matter? They are full of protein. Any tips appreciated.

I'm still around :) fighting the fat demon..help!

Hey it's me..I know I have been terrible about getting on here and blogging..So sorry..for myself because this is one of my outlets..Lately I've been sick of my self, again. I feel like I've gained so much weight and I feel really down. I just want to wear big baggy clothes and hide out when ever possible. SHAME...It's a killer. So..I started back on Weight Watchers this week. So far so good but it is only Wednesday. Oh , that is no attitude to have stop that! I am trying to drink organic milk and eat organic greek yogurt for now..more greens too. Im mad at my self for letting myself this long. ok well that is all for now..I'll let you know how I do..see ya on the flip side :)

Quotes to remember..

"The Lord will either calm the storm...
or allow it to rage while he calms you."
Norman Vincent Peale


"When God calls you to do something
he enables you to do it."
Robert Schuller

I broke one of my own rules....When angry, never and I mean never bring up the past...even if it is truth, some one will argue it isn't. It's not a good weapon.It will cut your throat in the end. Bite your tongue if you start to..even if it's not to hurt some one but rather out of frustration at trying to talk to some one who is irrational, ripping you apart and won't listen. The truth don't always set you free.

ToDaY I DoNt CaRE

Today I don't care if I eat a half pound of cheese cake and hate myself afterwards
Today I don't care if my eyes are puffy from crying all night, or if my masscara is running down my cheeks
Today I don't care if I have hairy legs and armpits,because I didn't feel like shaving
Today I don't care if I don't talk to any one
Today I don't care if people see me vulnerable,scared,and hurting
Today I don't care if the sun shinned or not because inside it wasn't anyway
Today I don't care if every thing got done or not
Today I don't care about the physical pain because the emotional pain hurts way worse
Today I don't care if I drink too much pop or eat too much candy
Today I don't care if my head hurts so bad I feel like it's going to explode
Today I don't care if my mind won't stop thinking and wondering why I don't care
Today I just don't care. Today I am numb. Today I need to be numb.
Today I don't care because I can't care. If I do I will fall apart and loose myself.

Chew On This

I've come to the conclusion that all OBGYN doctors should be female, And should have gave birth at least once. Male OBGYN's can't possibly ever understand the pain, emotions,and stress that a womens body endures having a baby. They have no idea what it feels like to have someone reach inside you and push something out of you through an openning way smaller than a baby's head. They have no idea what it feels like to have your hands and feet swollen and numb, let alone what your stomach feels like being stretched so far it rips! That is just what stretch marks are you know. Any way, the reason I'm un-nerved at the moment is because my poor daughter is almost due with her 3rd baby girl. She has been battling high blood pressure, swollen feet and hands and on top of that has sinus and ear infection,and pink eye, along with everything else. She is on bed rest and one doctor wants to induce her and the one on call today sent her back home with bed rest ...still. So there she lays, waiting and worrying and wondering if there is an end in sight. She has pre-preclamsia. Why the heck are they waiting to deliver this baby??? I feel so sorry for her :(
And that my friends is why there should be NO male OBGYN's!!! A women would have delivered by now!

Family - Babies & Memories

I am getting so excited because in a couple of days I'm pretty sure I will have a new grandaughter! It's like waiting for Christmas to come, only you get the gift that really does last forever. This will make my 3rd grandaughter and I have 1, grandson. I love being a grandma. I wish my kids to have many kids of their own. I want a big family like mine. Lots of kids running around, enough that you won't ever run out..or be lonely. I love my Grandparents, even though they aren't here on this earth any more. I miss them like crazy, but did make a lot of wonderful fond memories when they were alive, since I was a young girl. It's inportant to make memories with you family. When they or we leave this world there should be many, many memories left behind for your family to remember and treasure. I want to be that kind of mother and grandmother. I want my children and grandchildren especially to have lots and lots of fond memories of their times with me. I want all the fond memories to cover up any bad memories they may have. I hope when I am thought of, it puts a smile on their faces. :)

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

I'm pondering....Should you do hurtful things to some one when you know in the end you are really helping them?? What if they never forgive you...

A quote worth quoting..heard this in Church

"GOD DIDN'T GIVE US A BUFFET BIBLE"
In other words, the Bible comes as a package deal. You can't just pick out and live parts of the Bible that suit you, and ignore the rest. It doesn't work that way.
It's like directions to put something together, you can't leave a part out or it won't work. I thougt this was a real eye openner.What do you think?

THOUGHT FOR TODAY...IT TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY TO HOLD A GRUDGE..LET IT GO AND FREE YOUR SELF :)

Christmas 2010

My Christmas didn't go as I had planned. I ended up sick the Thursday before and was so sick I couldn't go to my folks like usual. I had an awlful stomach flu and didn't get well until the following Wednesday. Puking, dryheaving,horrible head and back pain. Couldn't keep any thing down, not even my meds. &up and bed were my best friends. Christmas was different for sure, but it was still Christmas. We watched movies all day after the kids and grandkids left. Yes, they insisted they come over that morning to open gifts. I just prayed no one would get what I had. I really wanted to snuggle and love my grandkids but couldn't get too close. I'm glad they came. It just wouldn't have been right with out them. Nothing could stop Christmas any way..not the true meaning of Christmas any way. We gave thanks to God for the birth of our Savior Jesus, and so sick or not, we celebrated!

Always Their Child

How is it that our parent's can still make us feel like a six year old?? Any one else wonder about that?