ToDaY I DoNt CaRE

Today I don't care if I eat a half pound of cheese cake and hate myself afterwards
Today I don't care if my eyes are puffy from crying all night, or if my masscara is running down my cheeks
Today I don't care if I have hairy legs and armpits,because I didn't feel like shaving
Today I don't care if I don't talk to any one
Today I don't care if people see me vulnerable,scared,and hurting
Today I don't care if the sun shinned or not because inside it wasn't anyway
Today I don't care if every thing got done or not
Today I don't care about the physical pain because the emotional pain hurts way worse
Today I don't care if I drink too much pop or eat too much candy
Today I don't care if my head hurts so bad I feel like it's going to explode
Today I don't care if my mind won't stop thinking and wondering why I don't care
Today I just don't care. Today I am numb. Today I need to be numb.
Today I don't care because I can't care. If I do I will fall apart and loose myself.

Chew On This

I've come to the conclusion that all OBGYN doctors should be female, And should have gave birth at least once. Male OBGYN's can't possibly ever understand the pain, emotions,and stress that a womens body endures having a baby. They have no idea what it feels like to have someone reach inside you and push something out of you through an openning way smaller than a baby's head. They have no idea what it feels like to have your hands and feet swollen and numb, let alone what your stomach feels like being stretched so far it rips! That is just what stretch marks are you know. Any way, the reason I'm un-nerved at the moment is because my poor daughter is almost due with her 3rd baby girl. She has been battling high blood pressure, swollen feet and hands and on top of that has sinus and ear infection,and pink eye, along with everything else. She is on bed rest and one doctor wants to induce her and the one on call today sent her back home with bed rest ...still. So there she lays, waiting and worrying and wondering if there is an end in sight. She has pre-preclamsia. Why the heck are they waiting to deliver this baby??? I feel so sorry for her :(
And that my friends is why there should be NO male OBGYN's!!! A women would have delivered by now!

Family - Babies & Memories

I am getting so excited because in a couple of days I'm pretty sure I will have a new grandaughter! It's like waiting for Christmas to come, only you get the gift that really does last forever. This will make my 3rd grandaughter and I have 1, grandson. I love being a grandma. I wish my kids to have many kids of their own. I want a big family like mine. Lots of kids running around, enough that you won't ever run out..or be lonely. I love my Grandparents, even though they aren't here on this earth any more. I miss them like crazy, but did make a lot of wonderful fond memories when they were alive, since I was a young girl. It's inportant to make memories with you family. When they or we leave this world there should be many, many memories left behind for your family to remember and treasure. I want to be that kind of mother and grandmother. I want my children and grandchildren especially to have lots and lots of fond memories of their times with me. I want all the fond memories to cover up any bad memories they may have. I hope when I am thought of, it puts a smile on their faces. :)

THOUGHT FOR TODAY

I'm pondering....Should you do hurtful things to some one when you know in the end you are really helping them?? What if they never forgive you...

A quote worth quoting..heard this in Church

"GOD DIDN'T GIVE US A BUFFET BIBLE"
In other words, the Bible comes as a package deal. You can't just pick out and live parts of the Bible that suit you, and ignore the rest. It doesn't work that way.
It's like directions to put something together, you can't leave a part out or it won't work. I thougt this was a real eye openner.What do you think?

THOUGHT FOR TODAY...IT TAKES TOO MUCH ENERGY TO HOLD A GRUDGE..LET IT GO AND FREE YOUR SELF :)

Christmas 2010

My Christmas didn't go as I had planned. I ended up sick the Thursday before and was so sick I couldn't go to my folks like usual. I had an awlful stomach flu and didn't get well until the following Wednesday. Puking, dryheaving,horrible head and back pain. Couldn't keep any thing down, not even my meds. &up and bed were my best friends. Christmas was different for sure, but it was still Christmas. We watched movies all day after the kids and grandkids left. Yes, they insisted they come over that morning to open gifts. I just prayed no one would get what I had. I really wanted to snuggle and love my grandkids but couldn't get too close. I'm glad they came. It just wouldn't have been right with out them. Nothing could stop Christmas any way..not the true meaning of Christmas any way. We gave thanks to God for the birth of our Savior Jesus, and so sick or not, we celebrated!

Always Their Child

How is it that our parent's can still make us feel like a six year old?? Any one else wonder about that?

MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Christmas ??

I dont know, when I was young I remember Christmas as the best time of the year. When ever I felt down in life I'd think of something happy and it was alway Christmas thoughts for me. As I grew older, and still today, I remember how Christmas was as a kid. Sitting around the tree with my siblings starring at the lights and ornaments and of coarse the presents. Id sit there wondering what was inside the package and looking through the paper and shake and feel around until I would finally figure out what it was and then I would be so let down because half of the excitment was just trying to figure it out. My brother and I never went to sleep on Christmas Eve. We stayed awake until mom and dad went to bed and then sneak up and look at what Santa had brought us. We would sit there all night excited out of our wits waiting for 6 am. ( That was OUR elected time to wake the parent's) They of coarse said 8 am. We would go and wake the other brothers and sisters and then we would all sit there whispering. Finally at 6am we would pour coffee and send the little sister in with coffee to wake mom and dad. I guess they couldn't refuse those big blue eyes. Then finally dad would come out and scratch his head and say "looks like Santa has been here, " then pass out the presents.
I always loved to go down town to shop. The Christmas music would play over the speakers so all the shoppers could here. I also loved the sing-a-longs we use to have in grade school. You know, the ones we are not allowed to have because a "Christmas" song may offend someone. Those were the days when we said The Pledge Of The Legion every morning and were allowed to have "Christmas" parties. NOT holiday parties. For heavens sake, how can you take away Christmas?? It is not possible. That is the day Christ Jesus, our savior was born and we want to celebrate Jesus Birthday just as we do our own!! What happened to the true meaning of Christmas? I taught my children that Christ is the reason for the Season, and that we want to celebrate our Savior. It's perfectly fine to have presents, I mean the wise men brought gifts, but somewhere along then line some people stopped celebrating Jesus and started celebrating themselves. Christmas is a time for giving and loving every minute of it, but DO NOT forget the true meaning! Teach it to your children. If you don't, sooner or later our future generations won't celebrate Christmas at all, and won't that be sad. LETS PUT CHRIST FIRST AND ABOVE ALL ELSE!
WISH EVERY ONE YOU SEE BETWEEN NOW AND CHRISTMAS A MERRY CHRISTMAS AND DO IT IN A JOYFUL MANNER. SO, MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL OF YOU! NO ONE IS TAKING CHRIST AWAY FROM ME!!!