Trying To Look At The Bright Side Of A Painful Week

This week I have struggled with pain way too much. Bad flair with the ugly invisable illness that has taken over my being. You know,FIBRO. Oh how I wish I could stay home when I have a bad flair up or a migraine. If I were rich that would be possible. People dont understand that you really do feel THAT bad, but have to function anyway. You feel 10 times worse at the end of the day and really pay for it but it's just something you have to do. My shoulders feel like someone is stabbing them in the joint with a big stick, making every tiny movement take your breath away. My hips are playing give out when I walk causing me to almost fall down with every step. I wish I could be running in the race for a cure today with my daughter.
ok, my Cousin Mark who is in Heaven now would be focusing on the beautiful Fall senery and crisp cool air of Autum. That is what I will try to do today, for me and for him. RIP Mark John.

GREAT FIBRO FOG ARTICLE

http://rapidfibromyalgiarelief.com/blog/what-is-fibro-fog My massage therapist sent me this article about firbro fog. You are not imagining these symptoms and they really are from fibro and not just old age like everyone seems to think or tell you when you try to explain these things to others. Hope this gives better understanding to those who read this.

Why Do Daughters Have To Grow Up....

Tonight my daughter went to the Homecoming Dance with her "boy friend".It is her first official dance. All dressed up in beautiful dress, black high heels, hair done, and make up on . She looked perfect , beautiful in fact. My last child is growing up. I remember my two older daughters going to prom. What fun they had. I enjoyed helping them get ready and taking pictures. Then there they go off to the dance. Just like now, it leaves me sitting here wondering , where did the time go? Did I do every thing correct? Was I a good mother? Did I install good morals and values in them raising them? Yes, I believe I did. My two oldest girls are beautiful women and wonderful mothers and my youngest has grown in to a lovely young lady. Yes, I did good, real good.

Labor day weekend

This has been a beautiful weekend. The sun has been shinning, and temps in the 70's. Ahh, my kind of weather. It is really starting to feel like fall. The older I get, the more I love fall. I love the fresh air, the turning of the leaves, the smell of the leaves (even though they aren't good for our allergies). The way they crunch when you walk on them. Fresh air flowing through the windows. Hawkeye football. Go Hawkeye's! Great win yesterday! I try not to think of winter coming right behind fall. Winter and I aren't very good friends. I don't like the cold and snow and did I say cold?? But, there is always a bright side to every thing. The snow is beautiful when it is coming down. I love watching it. So serene. I also love a white Christmas! There is always a flip side to everything. Today I will try to remember that and focus on the positive side of things instead of the negative.

RAIN RAIN....you make more pain..

Why or why does it have to rain........It makes my body hurt so bad! I feel like I've been stuck in a freezer for a couple of days. My joints are as stiff as a starched shirt and moving is just plain painful. Some days I'm so sick of being sick I could scream! I walk around in this aching body every single day and only I know how bad I hurt. I may not show it on my face, but I am not ok.
I complain on here because I'm sure no one else wants to hear my complaints all the time. Truth be known, most people who know me don't really know me. I seem to meet more and more people who have the same complaints as me. They describe their symptoms and they are just like mine. Now THEY know how I feel. It's so much more than just the physical pain...It goes way deeper. It affects your body, mind, spirit. Over active nerve endings pick up every thing 1000 times more than normal. Noise sometimes makes my head feel like it will actually explode! No relief. It makes my head ache. Loud noises and sounds are magnified so much you get nervous because you don't know how much more of it you can take. Sometimes I have to leave a place because I can't take the noise any more. Lights seem so bright you sometimes feel like someone is shinning a flashlight in your eyes. My body feels as if someone wrapped me in plastic wrap and it keeps getting tighter and tighter till I can hardly move any more. I'm really mad at FIBRO right now. It makes me not be able to be me.

Ok, I'm lovin the Italian phrase's from Elizabeth Gilbert's book

Il bel far niente - This means "the beauty of doing nothing" Or
il dolce stil nuovo - which means the "sweet new style"
I love saying Italian words because they sound so fancy and
seem to just slip off your tongue~~~~Try saying - complimenti!
See isn't that just fun?? Even if you don't know what your saying
it is still fun to say!

ART SCULPTURES-Down Town Des Moines IA

My Daughter took me sight seeing. (even though I've lived here for about 9 years) We had a

great day together:)

From the book eat pray love by Elizabeth Gilbert

"It's not fair for you to come here, "I tell Depression. "I paid you off already. I served my time back in New York." But he just gives me that dark smile, settles into my favorite chair, puts his feet on my table and lights a cigar, filling the place with his awful smoke. Loneliness watches and sighs, then climbs into my bed and pulls the covers over himself, fully dressed, shoes and all. He's going to make me sleep with him again tonight, I just know he is.." Somehow I relate to this quote.

I think I'm starting to get comfortable with my "young" age.....maybe

AGE, it's a funny thing. Does it really matter how old you are?? If not then why do we think it does? Seems when you get to be a certain age, lets say 40 ish, a person, especially women I believe, start to become uncomfortable with their age. I know I did. I didn't want to turn 40. I was like omgosh, I'm 40!!! Then I started to look in the mirror more to see how many more wrinkles I had each day. I started wondering where all the years went. Now I'm the big 50, soon to be the bigger 51 !
eek! Boy, when I turned 50 I did not want that birthday. I secretly wished I could start declining in years, but soon found out that no matter how many times you tell yourself your a year younger, you aren't. I felt like it was now all down hill. Where did my life go? Why are my kids all grown up? What happened to the time? I wasn't done holding them on my lap and rocking them to sleep. One day I looked and they were teenagers and then 2 were grown up with kids of their own. It is weird to think I have a daughter older than the age I was when I had been married for 12 years and divorced with 2 kids and almost married again. I look back and wonder was I a good mother? Was I too strict? One thing your children learn when they get older and have kids is that we parents make mistakes too.
It's sort of nice when the circle is complete. But you have to wait so long after saying "some day when your a mom you'll understand". But eventually they do. :)
Next month I will be 51. So what? I'm beginning to reallize that your age is just that, your age. I have alot of wisdom from all the years I've lived and it's sort of nice to say to yourself, hey, let the younger ones do that. I have a right to relax. I can take a nap when I want to. Sometimes I still think I have to act like I was 20 and do EVERYTHING. Especially now since I have fibro I have to give myself permission to say no when I don't want to do something. Don't get me wrong..I totally do way too much! It's still hard to say no sometimes. I guess I tend to mourn the person I use to be, the younger me. Lately though, I'm feeling more comfortable being the age I am. I have 3 beautiful daughters and 3 beautiful grandkids and another on the way. I want to look at my age as a new chapter in life waiting to unfold. Sure there are times when I wish I could feel as good as I did when I was 20 or even 30, but time and health issues get in the way. I have to accept who I am and what age I am. After all I am far from being old! That's the other thing, every decade that passes, the next one to come always seems it will be the one that is "OLD", not the one your in at the time. Each year that goes by I'm another year older, wiser, and have to highlight my hair more often. That's life! Now today this is how I feel. Tomorrow I may feel completely different.

Fibro & Massage Therapy

I am posting this link because Massage therapy is one of the most helpful things I get to help my pain and tightness, in my body and to improve my range of motion. No it doesn't make me pain free, but it does loosen me up. If you suffer from fibro you know the awful tightness and pain all over your body every day and every time you move . A deep tissue massage, along with myofascial release along with other tecniques help me to move better and not feel stiff as a board all the time. Stretching helps in the same way. Hope this article is helpful to you.http://http://www.fibromyalgia-symptoms.org/fibromyalgia_massage.html